homeless_pard

Entry tags:

maison,
starter

Sleep

Who: Khemrys, Jason?
When: A few weeks after his incarceration.
What: The first dream.

Khemrys tucked her nose in Kirion's hair and cuddled Irias close as was her wont these days. Her children were safe and surrounded by the strongest people she knew, but she still needed the visceral reminder in order to even doze at all. She was not coping well. Her family was not whole. Her Jason was so far from safety it was laughable to think she could even describe how painful it was.

A pain she carried from waking to sleep today it seemed, harsh and sharp in her chest as she tended plants. Her greenhouse was a small, normal sanctuary, she didn't even notice that the planting beds stretched from what she now held to the gardens at the abbey before her flight. Dark trees twisted past that, dripping with moss and dampness in this season, an echoing, boulder strewn wilderness beyond. A full run of an hour until they could even find the nearest village from there.

For a long time that small place had been her safety and sanctuary, a place even a rootless child like her could be treasured by soft, elderly hands and rheumy eyes full of kindness. Was it any wonder that it spelled such now when she felt so bereft?

Granted, it wasn't without it's heartaches.

"What did you expect my little flower?" the faded memory of Dame Rimia sighed, sitting on her bench to feel the few rays of sunlight that still fell despite the nearby trees. "Such a life, starting as yours did, will ever face hardships."

She winced, a weed tearing harshly under her probing fingers, "My pains are mine to bear. The children and my lord husband shouldst not suffer for what others thought of me here..."

"Aye, that is why you left and rerooted was it not?" Rimia chuckled softly, knobbed and gnarled hands resting as comfortably as they might upon the top of her walking cane.

She settled on her heels, considering that, "No dame. I left because I was hunted and I found safety elsewhere. Safety and a future, and that I...I need and deserve."

The memory smiled, wrinkles carved deep and unending through the once sun-kissed face of the woman who had been her mentor and surrogate mother when her own gave in to madness, "now there is a truth. Such a little bloom you've become my dear," she chuckled softly. "Do you know how close Death and Dreams are in this world my dear one?"

Khemrys blinked, not understanding the change of subject? "In a medical sense mayhap? Sleep and a coma are near identical betimes, and from there..."

Rimia grinned, "a bright little blossom indeed. It was wonderful to see you again, I hope you find what you need here among your plants."

Khem froze, considering, what? What even? She looked toward the bench wanting answers but there was no shade seated there now, no memory, or wishful thinking of words she'd not heard in their entire before...

...just her and her greenhouse beds becoming a proper garden of herbs only seen in her own world.

Ah, a dream. She dusted her hands off and sighed, wondering now. "Find what I need?" Wouldst there be some nugget of truth posing as a tuber here she could then tell the lawyers mayhap? Dreams were but wandering one's own mind after all, so why not search for what might be useful?

Why not indeed?

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Jason was learning to fall asleep despite the cold that always permeated their cell. The cold, the noise, the uncomfortable slab that was supposed to somehow be a bed...he had to be able to tune them all out: if he couldn't manage to lose himself to sleep quickly enough, he wouldn't get any sleep. Not with their checks throughout the night or any of the other discomforts that chased sleep away from him.

He was still cold as he stood in Khem's empty shop. Either someone had left a door open or there was a draft coming in from somewhere. He'd have to check that: he didn't want to risk a draft getting to the greenhouse and killing any of Khem's plants. He blew on his icy hands. Ok, first he was going to make some coffee or tea or whatever was down here; anything to warm him up a little so he could think about more than just being cold. He wasn't even going to try to fumble around for the lights because as soon as he'd thought of it, the electric kettle was in front of him.

She'd found naught strange in her own planting beds and was considering the abbey beds beyond when she heard the unmistakable sound of a kettle.

No, not just a kettle, her kettle. Her kettle in the waking world, but left at the shop. For certain her heated spigot for making tea for customers was convenient but her own kettle was homey and trustworthy even shouldst they lose power (as they had once in a storm). She craned her neck, eyeing the door back toward the shop then groaned, standing and her knees popping a moment given how long she had been crouched, weeding. If the kettle was sounding she needs must check it after all...

Jason froze mid pour as soon as he heard the popping joints and soft groan. He knew those sounds, but he couldn't smell anything. He frowned and turned, eyes impotently scanning the inky darkness that hid the edges of the room.

The door to the greenhouse opened and she reached for the small towel to wipe dirt from her fingers as a matter of course? "How couldst I forget a kettle on..." she murmured tiredly before she noticed a shadow in the shop.

What?

The voice whispered through the darkness, seeming to come from every direction and none. But that voice was etched into his soul. He reached out for the counter to brace himself. "Khem?" his own hushed voice dissolving in the darkness surrounding him.

That was a voice she knew, though rare she heard it so strained and tired, "my Jason?" she practically quivered, trying to spot him. "The light!" She did not have the shifter sight that his own did and he was far closer to the switch!

My Jason

He'd teased her for so long trying to get her to just use his name, but hearing that from her now made his knees tremble. He stumbled forward, hands flailing through the darkness for where he knew the switch had to be. "I can't find it!" he gasped with a thread of despair in his voice.

He belonged to her, she would not relent on such a statement!

"Calm my Jason, just reach slowly it is where it shouldst be," she promised gently. This was a dream was it not? So fears might cause them not to see each other at all lest he calm!

He took a slow, deliberate breath at her request and reached again into the blackness. Frustration was threatening to choke him when his fingertip grazed the switch. His breath came out in a rush of relief as he reached further and flipped the switch. The light was blinding at first and the room seemed to recede within his mind, but he clenched his eyes closed, silently pleading for the room to still be there when he opened his eyes again.

There was the small yip of 'ack closed my eyes too late!' from Khem but she took a moment herself then stepped forward in his direction properly! "I am here." That seemed the most important thing to say at this moment?

He carefully cracked his eyes open: there she was. His face softened into a smile as he realized he was dreaming. That this was a dream didn't bother him at all: in fact, he'd been upset that even when he tried he couldn't see her beautiful face in his dreams. Honestly, most nights he wasn't asleep long enough to dream properly anyway. No, he was just glad that he was finally dreaming about her.

"Khem, honey." he cooed tenderly.

She swept forward to lay her hands along his cheeks, only wincing slightly when the sensation was a distant and unclear. There were limits after all it seemed, "my Jason...you're so thin my love." And that was going to be added to the list of worries in waking hours yes. And discussed with their allies. Starvation was a poor control mechanism!

Jason blinked at looked down at himself. He was thin, just like his body really was back in the waking world. Wait, why was he dreaming of himself looking like this? He looked at her in confusion and reached out to cup her cheek, but it felt nothing more than trying to grab at smoke. What the hell kind of dream was this? "Khem?"

"This is a dream my Jason," she noted gently. "But I am grateful to see you at all as much as I have been denied at the gates that hold you." And she was VERY angry about that. Enough so it heated the world around them a touch.

Still, she wasn't going to move her hands in the least thank you.

That heat buzzed angrily around him, but it wasn't cold, so he relished it. He tried to close his hand over hers and when he failed, he followed her lead and kept it there. "But it's really you? How...did you ask Gunnora to set this up?"

He sighed, wishing he could pull her into his arms. "I know, honey. I'm so, so sorry."

"Aye, me," she agreed simply, giving him a tired smile. Not for circumstances certainly but because he might need to see it? "I had no need to. We are sworn and bound in two worlds my Jason and that has a degree of binding. They might add a touch of power betimes but the potential is our own."

His fingers traced the air where her lips smiled. "Our potential doesn't include being able to touch you, though," he noted forlornly.

And realizing they were truly speaking to each other in this dream, he tried to channel his focus into making his appearance a little...less distressing to her.

"That is a province of gods I am afraid, or a coma," she mused softly. "And not our own patrons sadly."

Ah, she could see him being a touch vain and poked a finger at his chest, "stop, I have already seen my Jason and you've far better things to focus on I might hope." Like some sanity and hope.

A ghost of his familiar grin appeared on his face. "Yeah, and I know your brain is already going to be going into overdrive trying to diagnose anything wrong without being able to touch me."

He stared at where her finger wavered at his chest. "You make comas sound downright tempting if it means I could hold you."

"I well know you and what evil might do to such as you," she countered grimly. "I do not need touch to confirm the likeliest avenues of such." The lawyers were going to have a field day honestly.

Ah. "The trade is not one I wouldst wish my Jason, those who can live such in a coma oft burn the remains of their life to do so and so you'd never return to us." He needed to know just how off limits that was soonest yes.

"Hey," he gave her a soft smile, "you know my metabolism is crazy. A little weight drop was inevitable. At least we know it's not drugs again, right?"

He didn't like that their ability to meet in this dream could make her more upset. If he ever did make it out and back to her, then he would join her in cursing the facilities abusive practices, but until then...

"You know I wouldn't risk it, honey. Not with you and the kids needing me."

"This is a fair bit more than a 'little'," she pursed her lips. But if he wished to brush it off she'd allow it for now. There would be a reckoning of course, later, but it wasn't on his shoulders that particular coming storm!

And, well, he better not. "Good. I know people trapped might do drastic things," she sighed, relaxing a touch. "So I needs must say such."

"I know," he answered quietly. "I don't want you worrying about that, ok?"

He wanted to reassure her that he would hold on for her and the kids, that he'd hold out hope that he'd get out of there. But he still didn't feel that confidence that Mattil had. This was his world after all, and he knew how rabidly many humans clung to the thought that it was safer for his kind to be locked away forever.

"I miss you so much," he whispered. "Do you have help? Are...are the kids doing alright?"

"My Jason I will always worry about you." That could not, and would not, change. He didn't get to simply fade away as people 'talked her into being sensible' or the like. Always meant exactly that.

"The children are terrified," she sighed. "And cry often. They have a therapist now and we are staying with the High Lord, it is he who found them a therapist in fact. He worries near as much as we do for the children."

His face reddened and it was clear he was choking back tears. "I'm so sorry, Khem. If I'd been better...if I wasn't losing it over just kids being kids...I never wanted them to have to be scared."

"They are not scared of YOU Jason!" Ever! "You did not lose it, you were far from, you did not even do so when assaulted in front of them, I have seen the footage." How not given how hard they'd been working to get him out? "They are frightened of police. Of you never coming home. Of things being their fault no matter how oft we may say otherwise. Our children have been traumatized by those who were supposed to protect them."

Jason shook his head, his voice breaking despite his attempt to suppress the emotions. "I was supposed to protect them. And instead I was losing it: honey, I was losing it. My eyes had already turned. If I'd held it together better, there would've been nothing to freak those cops out when they came in."

'No love." Her fingers ghosted over his lips, an odd determination in her gaze, "no. They were seeking missing children in the area and you are a known shifter. From the moment our children were children you were bound for that accursed place." And that was not a lack in HIM.

He paused to wipe stubbornly at his eyes. "They were freaked out the second they saw my eyes: I could smell it on them. But it wasn't even them for being scared, it was that...motherfucker McKinnon," he spat, rage blazing from him. "And I saw his smug fucking face and I just...I snapped. I knew then that it was over and I wanted to take him out with me."

She went very, very still, eyes bubbling golden and somehow more real in this dreamscape than other things, "that...is interesting," she murmured darkly.

His lip curled in a silent snarl. "Fucker weaseled his way out of any official report of what happened, didn't he?"

"Indeed. And we do not have his footage. I believe that will have to change."

"Fuck, no!" Jason exclaimed. "He never came inside, it was after they brought me out that I saw him. But I went for him, Khem: if they show his body cam it's only gonna look worse for me."

"It is not the meeting with him I am concerned about," she admitted simply, thinking. Thinking hard enough she was actually started to get a little hazy. Waking up perhaps? "We trap people with the things they say and do when they think themselves unobserved..."

"I don't know, Khem...I just don't want them having that to point at as a reason I should be in here."

The lights suddenly flared and Jason flinched back. The shop felt hazier in the brilliant light; hazier and colder.

"Khem!" he called out, unable to see her in the bright light. "I love you so mu-"

The slab felt like it was seeping ice through his blanket as he blinked against the harsh lights. There was a loud banging from outside the cell as the SO called out for welfare check. Jason slid robotically to the cold floor and waited next to Mike, his eyes closed as he tried to hold onto the image of Khemrys for as long as possible.

"AND I YOU!" she yelped as he started to fade. No welfare check for her but certainly untangling herself to go speak with everyone about things she had gotten from Jason.

And the fact that meeting McKinnon outside their home even 'on duty' was also violating a restraining order so an additional layer of suspicion there.

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